22 4 / 2013
Both Men & Women say Romance is More Important than Sex
If you had to choose between Sex or Romance, which one would it be?
The Icebreak asked couples if they had to choose between romance or sex, which would it be?
After combing through over 600 responses, a clear majority of our users choose romance.
Women were more vocal than men about connecting romance to sex, insisting that the ideal romance included sex. They stated that romance was linked to intimacy, which changed the way sex was viewed in the relationship. Women often referred to it as making love rather than simply sex.
A few notable responses from women in relationships included:
“Sex would be pointless without romance. Got to soften the butter when u slowly heat the pan” (Our favorite)
“Romance; since it’d be making love, not having sex.”
“Romance leads to more sex” (Guys, take note)
“Romance; I don’t want to simply make love, I want to make love last. “
Men who explained their responses generally stated that sex is cheap, easy to come by and usually readily available, which they explained wasn’t true about romance.
“Definitely romance!! Sex is just an item on the menu while romance is the whole meal” (Another food reference!)
“Sex without romance is meaningless”
“Definitely romance. I mean I love sex with my wife. But I love how girly and bashful she gets when I do something sweet, to light up that spark that reminds her of what our love really is.”
“Romance; you can have sex with anyone.”
Overall a higher percentage of women chose romance over sex. However an equal percentage of both men and women responded ‘both’ to the question. Lastly, more women than men included a comment about the present lack of romance in their relationship when responding to the question. These comments makes us very curious about how couples are trying to maintain the romance in their relationships, stay tuned to find out!
01 2 / 2013
Men Less Flexible than Women when Picking a Vacation Destination
Since many of a couple’s happiest memories come from shared new experiences — especially trips and vacations – we at theicebreak asked our users: “Where would you like to go on vacation with your partner?” (Each person could tell us more than one destination, so answers total more than 100% of users.)
While the top places (Europe, North America) and types of vacations (tropical/beach holidays) weren’t a surprise to us here at theicebreak, we did not expect the gap we saw between men and women who answered “Anywhere”— i.e., that it didn’t matter where they went as long as they were with their partner.
Women said “Anywhere” 25%-30% of the time at every age; see the green bars below.
Men start out saying “Anywhere” 24% of the time when 18-24 years old, but this decreases with age. By 41+ years old, only 9% of men say they’re happy to go anywhere with their partner.
It seems men are much more specific on where they want to vacation than women, especially as they get older. Whatever your gender, keep this in mind while vacation planning!
To give you an idea of the diversity of answers received, from the very specific to the very general, here are examples of very specific ideas from our users, a few of which we’d never heard before. (Each example was given by less than 1% of users.)
- ‘The Wizarding World of Harry Potter’ in Orlando
- Ukulele night in London
- Burning Man
- The Mall of America
- The Tour de France
- Disney and Atlantis-themed Cruises
- A NASCAR Nationwide Race, followed by the Philadelphia Zoo
- Vegetarian festivals in NYC
- Oktoberfest in Berlin
On the opposite end of the spectrum were many general responses, which were not location-specific. By far, the most popular was any warm ‘Tropical or Beach’ location (38% of women, 35% of men), which explains why the most common word in answers was “beach.”
Additional responses that were not location-specific fell into the ‘Other’ category (19% of women, 17% of men), and included ideas as diverse as jungle safaris, hot air balloon rides, and volunteering abroad. The top three responses in the ‘Other’ category were cruises, cabins, and time in the mountains.
A cabin in the woods was one option, but any way to spend time alone as a couple – no work, no electronics/phones/laptops, and especially no kids – was a frequent theme:
It doesn’t really matter [where]. It would just be nice for it to be by ourselves. A few days together with no stress; no kids and no interruptions would be awesome!
Others dreamed of seeing where their beloved grew up and meeting their family, or introducing their partner to their own family:
Columbia; because I know how much it means to him and I know how much he wants me to see his home.
Anywhere he wants to go but I would want to go to Louisiana to let him meet my whole family.
Still others (5% of women, 4% of men) sought an active time outdoors, usually camping. Alternatives included hiking, backpacking, biking, skiing, snowboarding, kayaking, sailing, surfing, scuba diving, and ATV’ing. Though they didn’t mention ice climbing, an adventurous 1% of men (0% of women) want to visit Antarctica, the lowest percentage for any continent as a vacation destination.
So what about the most desirable continent for a vacation, Europe? Four answers led the list. Starting with the most popular, they were: Italy, France, Europe in general (no country specified), and Greece.
Similarly, four answers were most popular in North America: Hawaii (the breakaway favorite), followed by Florida, New York (mostly for NYC), and California.
Some of our favorite ideas were amongst the least mentioned, though, like:
The moon; in a helicopter preferably.
Cross country zombie killing spree. Our lives depending on each other.
The options are almost infinite! So whatever your next trip together will be – to a hammock on the beach, to the clubs of Ibiza, or to hunt the living dead – don’t forget that theicebreak app travels well and, even if you don’t take your phone with you, will be here when you come home again.
Happy travels!
P.S. Valentine’s Day is less than 2 weeks away. Don’t forget to get your special someone something special. :)
14 1 / 2013
The Year Behind Us: Small Moments More Memorable than Sex & Money
It’s a new year and lots of happy memories lay ahead! To find out what makes for the best future memories, we asked our users what they remember most fondly about their relationship from the past year.
Even if women and men don’t always agree on how they met, they are strikingly similar when it comes to their happiest memories together. (Each person could tell us more than one memory, so answers total more than 100% of users.)
Overall, two answers were the most common:
Shared New Experiences (23% of women, 22% of men)
From local day trips to trips abroad, new experiences made for cherished memories. While the vast majority (87%) were out-of-town vacations (Paris, anyone?), you didn’t have to go far. Spending a night outdoors watching shooting stars also counted. Still, make sure your GPS and passport are up-to-date!
Their Partner’s Ongoing Support (22% of women, 21% of men)
Feeling loved, supported, and part of a rock-solid relationship was very memorable, especially through tough times, such as changing careers, battling cancer, or the inevitable growing older.
For 18% of women and 21% of men, the early days of new (or rekindled) romances were the most memory-worthy. Some fell in love with their partner for the first time, though at least a fifth of folks in this group were re-connecting and falling in love again after years and/or miles apart. For this 41-year old woman, it was the moment she realized she was in love:
Laying in the hammock in your backyard and realizing I loved you. Truly; deeply; madly; passionately; beyond all reason. And that I couldn’t stand to be away from you any longer. Strange that the thing I was so afraid of is what finally set me free…
For 12-14% of people, simple moments were the highlights, whether meals or conversations, being silly and laughing together, just cuddling, or even giving him a pedicure. As one 20-year old woman put it:
Definitely the small moments. We did a lot of big and amazing fun things; but the small moments are where the perfection is.
Even the mundane can take on special significance with the right partner, as per this 35-year old man:
Any of our drives. Just driving to the store is exciting with her.
But that doesn’t mean special occasions weren’t noteworthy. Aside from proposals and weddings (best memories for 13%), special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas were in 9% of women’s and 5% of men’s fondest memories. (This was the biggest difference in answers between genders, btw.) Just 6-7% of users mentioned changes in living situation, such as moving in or buying a house.
At the bottom of the list, the least-mentioned memories involved sex or money (only 2-3%), and external milestones outside the relationship, like graduating or getting a new job (1-2%). This is good news: little everyday things we have the most control over contribute more to happy memories than these other “bigger deals.”
While gender and relationship status (dating, engaged, domestically partnered or married) made no difference, what was remembered most fondly did change with age.
For women, their partner’s support and commitment grow in importance over time, becoming the most common fond memory for women (35% of them) by the time they’re 41-years old. The next closest answer was new experiences, for 20% of women 41-60. Family time, while not the most popular answer, was most important to women between ages 33-40.
Young men 18-24 years old remember the beginning stages of a relationship most, with 27% citing events like the first time they met their partner, their first date or first kiss as fondest memories (more evidence men are romantic?). Like women, men value a partner’s support and commitment more as they get older, though they remembered new experiences just as often (32% of the time) when 41-years or older.
All of which goes to show there’s much to look forward to in 2013. Now go out and make great memories together! And don’t forget to take theicebreak app with you.
14 12 / 2012
Married women most negative about their in-laws during holidays
Holidays mean family time, and for some couples, the stress of meeting potential (or current) in-laws can be a harrowing experience. Others who are welcomed easily into new families find the holidays with their partner’s relatives to be a very positive experience. To find out more about couples and their families during the holidays, we asked our users, “Have you spent a holiday with your partner’s family? If so, how was it?”
As might be expected, people who were married were more likely to have spent a holiday with a partner’s family. However, over half of those in less serious dating relationships had done it as well, showing that meeting the folks was quite a popular holiday activity.
Recurring sentiments that came up to describe the experience included “drinking,” “interesting,” “boring” and “chaotic” or “hectic.” Many people talked about being “accepted” and some compared other families to their own to gauge the experience. As one man said:
Yes, it’s better than reading out of the bible with my family
Or alternatively, one woman responded:
Yes, it’s just like spending a holiday with my own family!
Among those who had not spent a holiday with their partner’s family, some specified their actual feelings about the potential experience. Women were far more likely than men to specify they had negative feelings, including dread or nervousness, whereas men were more likely to specify they were looking forward to the experience.
One woman explained that she hadn’t yet met her boyfriend’s family because:
No his family hates me :( as much as I tried to get them to like me, they just don’t :(
For some, logistics made it difficult. As one man told us:
No, and I don’t know when it will be possible. He lives so far away, and I work full time so its hard to get away.
Among those who had spent a holiday with the “other” family, those specifying their feelings about the experience were still overwhelmingly positive compared to those who said it was negative. Married women were the most likely to say the experience with in-laws was negative (14%) and least likely to say it was positive (57%). One woman had quite a lot to say on the subject:
Yes. His moms side doesn’t like me since I’m not a perfect size 0 and act like I’m below them. With his dad we start out having a good time but before the night is through there is always an argument and someone gets offended before most everyone passes out from being drunk.
Dating men were the inverse of married women and were most likely to say it was positive (81%), and least likely to say it was negative (2%). One man in a dating relationship said:
it was phenomenal meeting her relatives and other family who is wicked nice. the best part is seeing my babe and eating dinner with her and her family
For more ways to share perspectives with your partner, and for insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way.
30 11 / 2012
Couples are having sex (and getting caught) at relatives’ houses
Holiday time is upon us and couples everywhere are traveling to visit families. And with twinkling lights and festive libations flowing, couples may find themselves in the mood even though they are at Uncle Jack’s house. Wondering how common is it for couples to sneak some sexytimes while visiting the family, we asked our users, “Have you and your partner ever had a quickie at a relative’s house?”
Overall, men and women were both more likely to have had a quickie at a relative’s house than not. The most common were women and men in the 18-24 range (70% and 59% respectively), likely because of the frequency of living and/or visiting parents.
Both men and women in serious relationships were more likely to have had sex at a relative’s house than those in dating relationships. In fact, several people commented that they weren’t even allowed in the same beds when visiting family. One woman in the 25-32 year old range told us,
Ha! We still sleep in separate rooms at her parents’ house….so I’m sure we’ll tackle that once we’re married and allowed in the same bed ;)
Regardless of gender, age, or relationship status, the potential for getting caught was an important consideration in the situation but for many reasons. In the case of one woman, getting caught hindered her ability to enjoy herself:
Yes but I couldn’t get into it like I normally do because my mind was focused on being walked in on.
However, for some people the challenge enhanced their enjoyment. One man said:
Yes we have and it was fun, wild and over all enjoyable even if we had to try our hardest to keep the noise down, which was sexy in it self coming up with ways to keep each others mouths occupied as to not make too much noise.
Another woman enjoyed it because it reminded her of her past:
Yep. Hot because it felt like I was back in high school and doing something bad.
For those who said they weren’t into it, it wasn’t always because they were afraid to be risqué, but rather, having family around just wasn’t sexy. As one woman said:
That is just weird… we are all about having sex in interesting places but not at family’s homes. Plenty of other options. :)
And for some people, the issue wasn’t a lack of desire, but rather, the result of a lack of privacy:
Yes, and it sucked bc we got caught. :(
Sexy until they found that rubber wrapper
Almost, but the relative in question must have some kind of quickie alarm because she busted it up before we really got started. What a huge rush and big let down that was!
One woman told us that even the relatives were a little put off by it:
Yeah on my moms old couch she actually gave us that couch didn’t like the thought of sitting on a couch that we had “sex” on
For more ways to share perspectives with your partner, and for insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way.
