The Icebreak Report

Both Men & Women say Romance is More Important than Sex

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 16:32:00 -0700

If you had to choose between Sex or Romance, which one would it be?

The Icebreak asked couples if they had to choose between romance or sex, which would it be?

After combing through over 600 responses, a clear majority of our users choose romance.

Women were more vocal than men about connecting romance to sex, insisting that the ideal romance included sex. They stated that romance was linked to intimacy, which changed the way sex was viewed in the relationship. Women often referred to it as making love rather than simply sex.

A few notable responses from women in relationships included:

“Sex would be pointless without romance. Got to soften the butter when u slowly heat the pan” (Our favorite)

“Romance; since it’d be making love, not having sex.”

“Romance leads to more sex” (Guys, take note)

“Romance; I don’t want to simply make love, I want to make love last. “

Men who explained their responses generally stated that sex is cheap, easy to come by and usually readily available, which they explained wasn’t true about romance.

“Definitely romance!! Sex is just an item on the menu while romance is the whole meal” (Another food reference!)

“Sex without romance is meaningless”

“Definitely romance. I mean I love sex with my wife. But I love how girly and bashful she gets when I do something sweet, to light up that spark that reminds her of what our love really is.”

“Romance; you can have sex with anyone.”

Overall a higher percentage of women chose romance over sex. However an equal percentage of both men and women responded ‘both’ to the question. Lastly, more women than men included a comment about the present lack of romance in their relationship when responding to the question. These comments makes us very curious about how couples are trying to maintain the romance in their relationships, stay tuned to find out!

Men Less Flexible than Women when Picking a Vacation Destination

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 17:17:00 -0800

Since many of a couple’s happiest memories come from shared new experiences — especially trips and vacations – we at theicebreak asked our users: “Where would you like to go on vacation with your partner?” (Each person could tell us more than one destination, so answers total more than 100% of users.)

While the top places (Europe, North America) and types of vacations (tropical/beach holidays) weren’t a surprise to us here at theicebreak, we did not expect the gap we saw between men and women who answered “Anywhere”— i.e., that it didn’t matter where they went as long as they were with their partner.

Women said “Anywhere” 25%-30% of the time at every age; see the green bars below.

Men start out saying “Anywhere” 24% of the time when 18-24 years old, but this decreases with age. By 41+ years old, only 9% of men say they’re happy to go anywhere with their partner.

It seems men are much more specific on where they want to vacation than women, especially as they get older. Whatever your gender, keep this in mind while vacation planning!

To give you an idea of the diversity of answers received, from the very specific to the very general, here are examples of very specific ideas from our users, a few of which we’d never heard before. (Each example was given by less than 1% of users.)

‘The Wizarding World of Harry Potter’ in Orlando
Ukulele night in London
Burning Man
The Mall of America
The Tour de France
Disney and Atlantis-themed Cruises
A NASCAR Nationwide Race, followed by the Philadelphia Zoo
Vegetarian festivals in NYC
Oktoberfest in Berlin

On the opposite end of the spectrum were many general responses, which were not location-specific. By far, the most popular was any warm ‘Tropical or Beach’ location (38% of women, 35% of men), which explains why the most common word in answers was “beach.”

Additional responses that were not location-specific fell into the ‘Other’ category (19% of women, 17% of men), and included ideas as diverse as jungle safaris, hot air balloon rides, and volunteering abroad. The top three responses in the ‘Other’ category were cruises, cabins, and time in the mountains.

A cabin in the woods was one option, but any way to spend time alone as a couple – no work, no electronics/phones/laptops, and especially no kids – was a frequent theme:

It doesn’t really matter [where]. It would just be nice for it to be by ourselves. A few days together with no stress; no kids and no interruptions would be awesome!

Others dreamed of seeing where their beloved grew up and meeting their family, or introducing their partner to their own family:

Columbia; because I know how much it means to him and I know how much he wants me to see his home.

Anywhere he wants to go but I would want to go to Louisiana to let him meet my whole family.

Still others (5% of women, 4% of men) sought an active time outdoors, usually camping. Alternatives included hiking, backpacking, biking, skiing, snowboarding, kayaking, sailing, surfing, scuba diving, and ATV’ing. Though they didn’t mention ice climbing, an adventurous 1% of men (0% of women) want to visit Antarctica, the lowest percentage for any continent as a vacation destination.

So what about the most desirable continent for a vacation, Europe? Four answers led the list. Starting with the most popular, they were: Italy, France, Europe in general (no country specified), and Greece.

Similarly, four answers were most popular in North America: Hawaii (the breakaway favorite), followed by Florida, New York (mostly for NYC), and California.

Some of our favorite ideas were amongst the least mentioned, though, like:

The moon; in a helicopter preferably.

Cross country zombie killing spree. Our lives depending on each other.

The options are almost infinite! So whatever your next trip together will be – to a hammock on the beach, to the clubs of Ibiza, or to hunt the living dead – don’t forget that theicebreak app travels well and, even if you don’t take your phone with you, will be here when you come home again.

Happy travels!

P.S. Valentine’s Day is less than 2 weeks away. Don’t forget to get your special someone something special. :)

The Year Behind Us: Small Moments More Memorable than Sex & Money

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 11:52:00 -0800

It’s a new year and lots of happy memories lay ahead! To find out what makes for the best future memories, we asked our users what they remember most fondly about their relationship from the past year.

Even if women and men don’t always agree on how they met, they are strikingly similar when it comes to their happiest memories together. (Each person could tell us more than one memory, so answers total more than 100% of users.)

Overall, two answers were the most common:

Shared New Experiences (23% of women, 22% of men)
From local day trips to trips abroad, new experiences made for cherished memories. While the vast majority (87%) were out-of-town vacations (Paris, anyone?), you didn’t have to go far. Spending a night outdoors watching shooting stars also counted. Still, make sure your GPS and passport are up-to-date!

Their Partner’s Ongoing Support (22% of women, 21% of men)
Feeling loved, supported, and part of a rock-solid relationship was very memorable, especially through tough times, such as changing careers, battling cancer, or the inevitable growing older.

For 18% of women and 21% of men, the early days of new (or rekindled) romances were the most memory-worthy. Some fell in love with their partner for the first time, though at least a fifth of folks in this group were re-connecting and falling in love again after years and/or miles apart. For this 41-year old woman, it was the moment she realized she was in love:

Laying in the hammock in your backyard and realizing I loved you. Truly; deeply; madly; passionately; beyond all reason. And that I couldn’t stand to be away from you any longer. Strange that the thing I was so afraid of is what finally set me free…

For 12-14% of people, simple moments were the highlights, whether meals or conversations, being silly and laughing together, just cuddling, or even giving him a pedicure. As one 20-year old woman put it:

Definitely the small moments. We did a lot of big and amazing fun things; but the small moments are where the perfection is.

Even the mundane can take on special significance with the right partner, as per this 35-year old man:

Any of our drives. Just driving to the store is exciting with her.

But that doesn’t mean special occasions weren’t noteworthy. Aside from proposals and weddings (best memories for 13%), special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas were in 9% of women’s and 5% of men’s fondest memories. (This was the biggest difference in answers between genders, btw.) Just 6-7% of users mentioned changes in living situation, such as moving in or buying a house.

At the bottom of the list, the least-mentioned memories involved sex or money (only 2-3%), and external milestones outside the relationship, like graduating or getting a new job (1-2%). This is good news: little everyday things we have the most control over contribute more to happy memories than these other “bigger deals.”

While gender and relationship status (dating, engaged, domestically partnered or married) made no difference, what was remembered most fondly did change with age.

For women, their partner’s support and commitment grow in importance over time, becoming the most common fond memory for women (35% of them) by the time they’re 41-years old. The next closest answer was new experiences, for 20% of women 41-60. Family time, while not the most popular answer, was most important to women between ages 33-40.

Young men 18-24 years old remember the beginning stages of a relationship most, with 27% citing events like the first time they met their partner, their first date or first kiss as fondest memories (more evidence men are romantic?). Like women, men value a partner’s support and commitment more as they get older, though they remembered new experiences just as often (32% of the time) when 41-years or older.

All of which goes to show there’s much to look forward to in 2013. Now go out and make great memories together! And don’t forget to take theicebreak app with you.

Married women most negative about their in-laws during holidays

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 00:19:55 -0800

Holidays mean family time, and for some couples, the stress of meeting potential (or current) in-laws can be a harrowing experience. Others who are welcomed easily into new families find the holidays with their partner’s relatives to be a very positive experience. To find out more about couples and their families during the holidays, we asked our users, “Have you spent a holiday with your partner’s family? If so, how was it?”

As might be expected, people who were married were more likely to have spent a holiday with a partner’s family. However, over half of those in less serious dating relationships had done it as well, showing that meeting the folks was quite a popular holiday activity.

Recurring sentiments that came up to describe the experience included “drinking,” “interesting,” “boring” and “chaotic” or “hectic.” Many people talked about being “accepted” and some compared other families to their own to gauge the experience. As one man said:

Yes, it’s better than reading out of the bible with my family

Or alternatively, one woman responded:

Yes, it’s just like spending a holiday with my own family!

Among those who had not spent a holiday with their partner’s family, some specified their actual feelings about the potential experience. Women were far more likely than men to specify they had negative feelings, including dread or nervousness, whereas men were more likely to specify they were looking forward to the experience.

One woman explained that she hadn’t yet met her boyfriend’s family because:

No his family hates me :( as much as I tried to get them to like me, they just don’t :(

For some, logistics made it difficult. As one man told us:

No, and I don’t know when it will be possible. He lives so far away, and I work full time so its hard to get away.

Among those who had spent a holiday with the “other” family, those specifying their feelings about the experience were still overwhelmingly positive compared to those who said it was negative. Married women were the most likely to say the experience with in-laws was negative (14%) and least likely to say it was positive (57%). One woman had quite a lot to say on the subject:

Yes. His moms side doesn’t like me since I’m not a perfect size 0 and act like I’m below them. With his dad we start out having a good time but before the night is through there is always an argument and someone gets offended before most everyone passes out from being drunk.

Dating men were the inverse of married women and were most likely to say it was positive (81%), and least likely to say it was negative (2%). One man in a dating relationship said:

it was phenomenal meeting her relatives and other family who is wicked nice. the best part is seeing my babe and eating dinner with her and her family

For more ways to share perspectives with your partner, and for insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way.

Couples are having sex (and getting caught) at relatives' houses

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 11:12:03 -0800

Holiday time is upon us and couples everywhere are traveling to visit families. And with twinkling lights and festive libations flowing, couples may find themselves in the mood even though they are at Uncle Jack’s house. Wondering how common is it for couples to sneak some sexytimes while visiting the family, we asked our users, “Have you and your partner ever had a quickie at a relative’s house?”

Overall, men and women were both more likely to have had a quickie at a relative’s house than not. The most common were women and men in the 18-24 range (70% and 59% respectively), likely because of the frequency of living and/or visiting parents.

Both men and women in serious relationships were more likely to have had sex at a relative’s house than those in dating relationships. In fact, several people commented that they weren’t even allowed in the same beds when visiting family. One woman in the 25-32 year old range told us,

Ha! We still sleep in separate rooms at her parents’ house….so I’m sure we’ll tackle that once we’re married and allowed in the same bed ;)

Regardless of gender, age, or relationship status, the potential for getting caught was an important consideration in the situation but for many reasons. In the case of one woman, getting caught hindered her ability to enjoy herself:

Yes but I couldn’t get into it like I normally do because my mind was focused on being walked in on.

However, for some people the challenge enhanced their enjoyment. One man said:

Yes we have and it was fun, wild and over all enjoyable even if we had to try our hardest to keep the noise down, which was sexy in it self coming up with ways to keep each others mouths occupied as to not make too much noise.

Another woman enjoyed it because it reminded her of her past:

Yep. Hot because it felt like I was back in high school and doing something bad.

For those who said they weren’t into it, it wasn’t always because they were afraid to be risqué, but rather, having family around just wasn’t sexy. As one woman said:

That is just weird… we are all about having sex in interesting places but not at family’s homes. Plenty of other options. :)

And for some people, the issue wasn’t a lack of desire, but rather, the result of a lack of privacy:

Yes, and it sucked bc we got caught. :(

Sexy until they found that rubber wrapper

Almost, but the relative in question must have some kind of quickie alarm because she busted it up before we really got started. What a huge rush and big let down that was!

One woman told us that even the relatives were a little put off by it:

Yeah on my moms old couch she actually gave us that couch didn’t like the thought of sitting on a couch that we had “sex” on

Spenders most likely to be in a relationship with another spender

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 02:35:36 -0800

Black Friday, named for retailers coming “into the black” with profits, is just one week away and there is no shortage of hype around this holiday for shoppers. USA Today reports on stores opening as early as 8pm on Thanksgiving day to lure buyers away from the turkey and through their doors. In an attempt to create more luxe shopping experiences, some stores are even offering free refreshments and reserved parking, reports the Wall Street Journal. The Washington Post also covered a slew of Black Friday apps based on giving shoppers a leg up on hitting the aisles.

But navigating all of these deals this time of year brings up a common issue between couples: the budget. This week The Better Business Bureau and MSN Money offer several tips on how to stick to a holiday budget. But what do you do if your partner has different spending and saving habits than you do? To see how these budget trends factored into relationships, we asked our users, “Are you a saver or a spender? How about your partner?”

Across the board, with no regard for age or relationship status, men and women were only separated by 1 to 3 points on spending and saving habits related to their partners; in other words, both sexes were relatively even, contrary to popular stereotypes of women as shoppers.

Both groups were most likely to be in a relationship where they were both spenders, and least likely to be in a relationship where they were both savers. Both men and women were more likely to say that they were a spender with a partner who saved rather than vice versa.

As women passed the 41-year old mark, they were more likely to be spenders overall, with one woman stating,

Both spenders.. Could die tomorrow… Why not enjoy life to its fullest!!

Women 25 to 32 years old were most likely to be in a relationship with another spender (36%), but as they got older became more likely to be savers. One woman in the 25-32 year old age range addressed the need to start saving more:

We are both spenders. I used to be a saver but idk what happened! We have to start saving up though, we both realize that.

Within that same age range, men were most likely to be spenders, and similar to women, men were also more likely to be savers as they got older. However, as saver men got older, their likelihood of having a partner who was a spender dramatically increased.

Based on relationship status, women who were married, engaged or in a domestic partnership were most likely overall to be spenders in a relationship with another spender (36%). Women who were dating were most likely to be spenders in a relationship with saver (31%).

Men who were dating were most likely to be spenders in a relationship with another spender (39%), whereas men in more serious relationships were equally savers or spenders with their opposites.

Many couples believed that having one spender and one saver meant they balanced each other out. One man explained,

I’m a spender, my wife is the saver. Perfect combo to live happily and one day retire.

Couples who were both savers considered that to be one of the reasons their relationship worked, and couples who were both spenders cited the positive elements of enjoying life, and the negative elements of being broke. As one woman said,

spender and spender. We’re screwed :)

People in the survey also used colorful language to describe themselves or their partner and some of our favorites included:

“I call my partner uptown”
“a miracle worker”
“cheapskate or belt-tightener”
“Dyed-in-the-wool tightwads both”

Married women least accepting of exes as friends

Fri, 09 Nov 2012 11:23:00 -0800

This week, People magazine reported on Taylor Lautner, werewolf star of the hit Twilight series and his interview in December’s issue of Cosmopolitan. On the subject of relationships with exes, he told the magazine,

There’s no ex out there who I’m not friends with today […] and I’m extremely thankful for that.

Curious if the perspective of the 20-year-old superstar was indicative of current overall trends, we asked our users “Do you believe it’s OK to be friends with your exes?” and here were their responses.

Overall, with no consideration for age or relationship status, the numbers were relatively consistent for men and women, though women were 6% less likely than men to approve of exes as friends at all. Men were slightly more open to the possibility of friendship (by 4%), and also 3% more open to being friendly or cordial, which was specified as a step down from actual friendship.

The majority of those against the idea were quite passionate about how much they disapproved, with many responses beginning with “HELL NO” and “NOOOOOOOOOOOO.” For those who were open to friendship, they specified boundaries such as limited communication or group-only activities. One man set clear limits in his response:

It is ok. But that friendship should not ever infringe on your relationship and it should be transparent to your partner. IE he/she can read your messages or hear your conversations.

Though overall, most women did not believe it was okay to be friends with an ex, those women who were accepting were often considerably positive:

Yes. In fact, I’d say the way my husband embraces my past and present relationship with my ex makes me love my marriage more and more.

Both women and men in the 25-32 year old age range were the most likely to say it was okay being friends with a ex.

For those who said “it depends on the ex,” there were several components to what determined a suitable ex-as-friend:

If they had children together
How long they were together
If the ex respected the new partner
If the previous relationship was purely sexual
If there was any possibility of rekindling a spark
How often they made contact
How close or far away they lived

Based on relationship status, women who were married, engaged, or in a domestic partnership were the least accepting of exes as friends (45% said it was not okay), whereas men in dating relationships were most likely to say it was okay (39%).

Many people who wanted to be understanding and trusting also questioned the value of such a friendship. One woman in a domestic partnership stated:

I have mixed feelings on this topic. Trusting my partner is number one but I would be curious to know what my partner would want to gain from keeping in contact with her ex. It’s ultimately up to her but it definitely makes me uncomfortable.

And though we aren’t quite sure what to make of his response to the question, one man’s strategy was quite clear with this simple statement:

I’m gonna “bite my tongue to keep the peace” in our marriage.

Men less likely than women to believe in "The One"

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 11:18:00 -0700

After popular party holidays like Halloween, New Year’s Eve, or St. Patrick’s Day, local Craigslist Missed Connections boards fill with hopeful posts, each a message in a bottle cast into an ocean of potential partners. This Halloween week was no different, and both The Province and Denver Westword shared some of the best missed connections from all over Craigslist.

These boards where people can anonymously broadcast a meaningful encounter with a stranger are very popular for a lot of reasons. They allow for shy people to get a second chance at a conversation, they can overcome circumstances like subway doors closing too quickly, and they play heavily on the hopes and fears of finding but then missing “The One.” In an effort to find out some perspectives on “The One,” we asked our users, “Do you believe in “the one,” or the “right one at the right time”?”

Across age groups and relationship statuses, both men and women believed in the concept of “The One” by a considerable margin, with women 10% more likely than men. Considering the right timing, with the potential for more than one “One,” came in second for women at 19% and third for men at 16%. Second amongst men was “neither” and they were over three times more likely than women (18% to 5% respectively) to say they didn’t believe in any concept of The One.

People who said “neither” cited statistical improbabilities, historical small towns with long-lasting marriages, the reality check of divorce, and even “arrogance” at the idea that there could be only one.

Broken out by age, women were relatively consistent with the overall numbers, though the 33-40 year age group were the most likely (14%) to not believe at all in the concept of The One.

One woman who believed it was a little of both answered the following:

Both. I believe you have multiple “ones” and the ones you meet at the wrong time are still special and still change you and you are still in love and will love them forever it just doesn’t work. Then when you meet the right one at the right time you can fall in to place.

Broken out by age, men across the board were less likely than women to believe in The One at all, but the most likely age group to believe in the idea were the 25 to 32 year olds. One man circled around a few perspectives in his response:

I’m not sure. I think believing in the one narrows your search; where as the right one at the right time is kind of this “why not” approach. so neither. I think it takes a lot of time to discover everything about someone and still you’ll only be scratching the surface. I’m open minded.

Based on relationship status, women in serious relationships were the most likely to believe in The One (60%), whereas women who were dating were most likely to believe in “right one at right time” (24%). Dating men were least likely to believe in either concept (19%).

And one of our favorite answers, which was unlike any other response in the survey, was the following:

Neither!! It’s not about having the right spouse, it’s all about BEING THE RIGHT SPOUSE, regardless of whether you think you have the right spouse or not. It’s about you, not them.

Men less likely than women to want the truth about an affair

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 11:28:17 -0700

Last week, we looked at how often someone would tell a friend that their partner was having an affair; we learned that amongst Icebreak users, married women were least likely to tell the truth to a friend. This week we took the next step in the survey to find out who would want to know themselves about a potential cheating partner.

Across the board with no consideration for age or relationship status, 79.6% of women and 77.8% of men said that they wanted to know if their partner were having an affair. Several users (4.8% of men and 3.8% of women) chose not to answer the question directly, but specifically answered the question with some variation of “that never would happen.” For those who specified that they did not want to know, men overall would choose not to know more often than women (9.6% of men versus 6.7% of women).

19.4% of women were unsure if they wanted to know, or said that knowing depended on the situation. For several women, an affair that happened in the past or was a one-time thing was not something they wanted to know about; however those same women would want to know about something currently happening or long-term.

Women in the 33-40 year old range were the least likely to want to know about an affair, whereas women 41-60 were the most likely to be unsure or take into consideration the situation.

Men in the 25-32 year range were more likely than any group of either sex to want a definite answer (88.9%). Additionally, men 33-40 years old were most likely to be unsure or consider the situation before wanting to know (16.7%).

Based on relationship status, men in dating relationships were least likely to want to know if their partner were cheating (12.5% said no) whereas married women were most likely to be unsure or consider the circumstances (10.8%).

Amongst those who specified they would leave a cheating partner, married women were least likely to leave their spouse (~16%), and dating men were most likely to leave their partner (25%). Married men and dating women who would definitely leave their partner were both around 21%.

Recurring comments on the subject of a cheating partner included:

Concerns over sexually transmitted diseases
Not wanting to “live a lie”
Going to jail or prison
Cutting off body parts

And for some levity, one of our favorite quotes from a user was that he wanted to know if his partner was cheating, but

Only during scrabble

Married women least likely to tell a friend their partner is cheating on them

Fri, 19 Oct 2012 03:03:07 -0700

Each week The Icebreak Report covers something a little different- from bedrooms to ballots. This week, while looking for topics to investigate, it became clear that the Kristen Stewart/Robert Pattinson drama was still dominating the wires, as everything from cafe behavior to the couple’s sleeping arrangements for their upcoming worldwide promo tour for “Breaking Dawn: Part 2” were analyzed as a relationship barometer. Even Donald Trump weighed in on their relationship.

For anyone living under proverbial rock, the couple recently reconciled after Stewart was caught by paparazzi getting cuddly with her former director, resulting in a real-life breakup devastating to Twihards. So on the topic of cheating and getting caught, we surveyed our users to find out, “If your friend was being cheated on, would you tell them?”

Overall percentages across the board were surprisingly consistent, with almost three quarters of respondents saying that they would definitely tell a friend if they were being cheated on. For those who said “it depends,” they cited closeness with both the friend and their partner, and the circumstances of the affair. An equally small percentage of men versus women (5%) said that they would confront the cheater and give them a chance to confess first.

I would give the cheater an earful, give him/her a chance to come forward, if they don’t, then I’ll step in.

When broken down by age, a few groups stood out amongst the rest.

Most likely to tell a friend? Men 18-24yrs (83%)
Most likely to keep quiet about an affair? Women 33-40 yrs (15.6%)
Most likely to consider the circumstances before telling friend? Men 33-40 (30.4%)
Most likely to confront the cheater? Men 33-40yrs (8.7%)

Percentages based on relationship status were still overwhelmingly in support of telling a friend about their cheating partner. However, those who were married were far less likely to get involved than those in dating relationships.

9.6% of married women versus 6.3% of dating women would not tell their friend
7.4% of married men versus 1.5% of dating men would not tell their friend

Reasons for not telling a friend included fear of jeopardizing the friendship, believing it was no one else’s business, and not wanting to be the one to cause any pain to their friend. Though the clear minority, people in this camp has strong reasoning, including public answers such as:

Hard to say. I don’t like people in my relationship, & I sure as hell wouldn’t want to hear it from a friend. The truth always comes out no matter what. So no. It’s not my secret to tell.

i did this once and [got] in trouble, she suffered a lot, the guy hated me forever, they got back and she doesn’t speak to me anymore :/

And some couples simply didn’t agree on what they would do:

i would definitely tell them, but only after giving the cheater a chance to confess themselves. if the cheater doesn’t confess, then i would let my friend know in the most delicate manner possible. my wife, however; strongly disagrees and thinks one should just stay out of the whole thing. she’s concerned about the messenger getting shot (e.g. why disrupt ignorant bliss to bring misery).

BDSM most popular women's fantasy, costumes most popular with men

Fri, 12 Oct 2012 12:32:00 -0700

Because of Halloween, October is the month of costumes and fantasies, of dreams and nightmares. But year round, couples from The Icebreak are sharing their fantasies with one another. To find out the sexy things couples thought about doing (and in some cases, actually are), we asked our users “What’s one of your sexual fantasies?”

Usually for The Icebreak Report, we do extensive break-out graphs by age but in an effort to focus on larger-scale gender-based assumptions, here are the numbers across the board from ages 18 to 60, from all of our respondents with varying and ranging sexual preferences.

The largest percentage for both groups was a category we called “nothing or nothing else” which meant respondents said they were satisfied, had no fantasies, or had already done what they fantasized.

However, for those who specified, men were most interested in costumes and outfits (boots were very popular), and women were most interested in power dynamics, specifically through light bondage (i.e. being tied up) or “being taken.” Sex on the beach was second most popular for both sexes, and, perhaps most amusing was the fact that not one woman of any age range fantasized about being woken up from sleep with sexytimes.

Contrary to commonly-held assumptions that threesomes were the most popular fantasy among men, threesomes or foursomes were actually further down the list than may be expected; of those citing that fantasy however, married men were the most frequent.

Having sex in a public or prohibited place was a fantasy that some users had, and most interesting locations included:

a church
a roller coaster
the 50-yard line
an aisle of a grocery store

And probably our favorite public answer was from one user who said:

Just doin it hard in a giant pool of money, while overlooking our mansion and private island

For more fun with your partner, and insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way.

Men who are dating most often notice eyes first

Fri, 05 Oct 2012 11:27:00 -0700

In dating, job interviews, networking, or any other kind of early relationship building, first impressions are extremely important. However, different people notice different things during those initial influential moments of first meeting someone. To find out more about first impressions, we asked our users, “What is the first thing you notice when meeting someone new?” and here are the responses.

Based on any relationship status, smile and eyes were the overall most noted specific appearance details, followed by clothes and hair. Overall, personality was noticed first, except for men who were in dating relationships; they were most likely to be drawn to eyes or eye contact. Women who were in committed relationships were almost equally noticing personality or a person’s smile.

A surprisingly small handful of people acknowledged checking out “the goods,” such as a woman’s breasts or a guy’s crotch upon first meeting them; but amongst those who admitted doing it, men in committed relationships and men under 32 were the most likely.

Based on age (below) women noticed eyes and eye contact increasingly more as they got older. Men 33 to 40 were the most likely amongst male age groups to notice clothing, whereas women noticed clothing most when they were 18 to 24 years old. Hands and handshakes were also most likely to be noticed by men or women over the age of 41.

Overall, confidence was the most frequently noted specific personality detail, with men noticing it first more often than women. Other interesting specific personality details people noticed first included:

Level of cockiness
Level of sincerity
If that person is judging them

For more fun with your partner, and insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way.

Agreement on Political Issues Increases Relative to Age

Fri, 28 Sep 2012 11:42:21 -0700

Last week, CNN reported on couples with political differences, citing vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan and his wife Janna. During election season, more than any other time, politics finds its way into dinner conversations and small talk. But what happens when differences in political perspectives make their way into a romantic relationship?

To find out more about the frequency of differing political perspectives within relationships, we asked our users, “Do you and your partner agree on political issues?” and here are the responses.

When arranged by gender and relationship status, agreeing on political issues was more frequent for both men and women who were in more serious relationships and those who were dating had the lowest percentage of agreement.

However, those who were dating had the highest percentage of indifference or not talking about political issues at all. There are a few ways to read this information- at times in the dating phase of a relationship, serious issues are not addressed in light of the honeymoon period, or seem less serious or potentially impactful. Therefore, “not caring” could be a result of rose-colored love glasses, not actually complete indifference. Additionally, those who specified that they avoided political conversations because they knew they did not agree with their partner were included in “do not agree” rather than “don’t talk about it.”

When arranged by gender and age, agreement for women clearly increases with age while disagreement decreases. Notably, almost half of women and a third of men under the age of 32 didn’t care or didn’t talk about politics with their partner. However over the age of 33, we see a sharp decrease to under 20% of women reporting indifference to political issues.

When disagreeing on political issues, many couples avoided political conversations altogether. 55% of women and 38% of men would rather just move on to another subject. Hot button issues included women’s reproductive rights and same-sex marriage.

Other strategies for disagreements around political issues included:

Withholding sex
Serious debate
Agreeing to disagree

And probably our favorite response:

We always agree on our political issues; unless I feel a bit of chaos coming on; then we have to get butt nekett n wrassle! Lol jk

For more fun with your partner, and insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way.

Cars and nature are most popular for sex in public spaces

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 11:20:00 -0700

Earlier this week Salon posted an article about so-called “vanilla sex,” sexual progression and experimentation, and kinkiness in different sexual communities, from swingers to monogamous couples. Here at The Icebreak, we are specifically focused on couples, both dating and in more serious relationships, so we thought we’d take a look at one aspect of the naughtier side of sex: sex in public. We asked our users, “Where is the most public place you and your partner have had sex?”

A handful of our users considered sex at home with the windows open “public,” but those statistics aren’t included here. However, our users are definitely adventurous, with locations ranging from public amenities to train cars to a church parking lot. A lot of couples specified that when having sex in a hotel, they left windows and curtains open or even ventured out onto public-facing balconies. Younger couples are having a lot more sex in working spaces, likely because of the number of students enjoying private time in the library.

With workspaces clearly dropping off, pools and natural settings are much more popular locations for the over-40 set; however, natural settings are the second favorite location for every age group.

Some of our favorite freaky places Icebreak users got their freak on included:

air hockey table
hospital bed
a neighbor’s lawn
a cruise ship laundry room
a lighthouse
airport shower room
display shed at home improvement store

Across the board, and with so many options, cars are still the most popular place to have sex in public. And here’s a tasty morsel to chew on during your commute:

For more fun with your partner, and insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way.

Young Men Cuddle & Older Men Sleep: What people are doing after sex

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 09:00:00 -0700

Looking at couples by relationship status, across the board, sleeping and cuddling are by far the most popular activities post-sexytimes. Married men are most often falling asleep after sex, whereas dating men are most often cuddling. Women, whether married or not, are split closely between talking, cuddling, and sleeping. Heading straight to the bathroom for a shower or to clean up was a priority for some couples, and significantly more men than women also enjoy eating after sex.

Based on age breakdowns, smoking, a common post-coital activity according to Hollywood, still makes several appearances amongst the under 40 set. Sleeping clearly becomes more of a priority for men as they age, and women alternate between prioritizing talking and cuddling, while also increasing sleep as they age.

For those who get down with some pillow talk, most of them are talking about the sex they just had! Many couples talk about how much they love each other and some just let their minds wander to talk about anything they can think of. A handful of couples enjoyed talking about their pets (why does the cat watch us?) and some used the afterglow as a chance to talk about more serious things like their future.

For more fun with your partner, and insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way.

Movies are still most popular for Friday Date Night

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 09:22:00 -0700

For those working a Monday-Friday schedule, Friday night is one of the most anticipated moments of the week. It’s a popular date night and deciding what to do with your significant other on Friday night might just determine how good the rest of the weekend will be.

According to our female users across all age groups, staying home (often specified to include “cuddling”) was definitely the preferred Friday night activity. In contrast, men under the age of 40 mostly preferred to go out on a date instead of staying in.

TheIcebreak users told us their favorite activities for Friday night ranged from board games to barbeque, with lots of cuddling, and “anything together.” However, regardless of gender or status, they clearly preferred a few ways to pass the time that beat out everything else.

For more fun with your partner, and insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way.

TheIcebreak.com users and their role in "The War On Pubic Hair"

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 10:20:00 -0700

This past week, Salon and The Guardian both shared a post written by Emily Gibson who demanded that “The War on Pubic Hair” stop! Citing concerns about irritation from shaving and suffering skin, the purpose of pubic hair was made clear. Providing a cushion against friction and protecting from bacteria, pubic hair was declared friend not foe. But often informed by fashion trends and pornography, there are many perspectives on trimming your intimate garden, as it were.

Curious about the trends and how they effect couples, TheIcebreak.com asked our users about their private pubic habits. Relationship-based results for women are above. Age-based results, including results from men, are below. These results below are the percentages of users who answered the question.

So it would seem that our users are expert sharpshooters in the War on Pubic Hair, with Brazilian style being the most popular almost across the board and sculpted/trimmed as second most popular. Brazilians tend to be popular because of the unique aesthetic qualities including smooth skin, a youthful appearance, and the association with 99% of mainstream pornography; however those responsible for their upkeep often complain about the cost, the hassle, the frequency, and unavoidable pain. Either way, the Brazilian seems to reign supreme.

For more fun with your partner, and insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way.

Women have sex sooner, men catch up eventually :)

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 20:15:00 -0700

We asked our users their age when they had sex for the first time.

Women, on an average, had sex earlier than men, beating men at most ages. We think this might be because:

They mature faster than boys
They get pressured from older boys to ‘do it’.

73% males and 81% females had sex by the time they turn 19. There is a big spike between the ages of 16-18, which is expected as everyone comes of age.

Even though women started early, men eventually caught up once they were 22. Almost everyone eventually ended up having sex :).

24% of users told us that they actually regret their first sex - which is a pretty high number. I guess people just need to be more careful with who they ‘start out’ with.

15% of the users actually did not have sex until they were married - which is interesting because 92% of all users had sex by the time they were 24. So a majority of them actually got married early in their lives.

Find out more at theicebreak.com or get our app!

All's not far in Love & Cheating - Men less likely to forgive & women are more likely to lie.

Wed, 09 May 2012 09:20:00 -0700

Originally posted on: socialmoms.com

Cheating. It’s a scary word. When we think of a cheating partner, we usually think of it at a distance. It’s something that we’ve seen in a movie or heard that happened to one of our friends. Very seldom do we believe that cheating could happen in our own relationship.

I used to think like this…until it happened to me. In the grand scheme of things, there are far worse events that could happen than to discover that your partner hasn’t been faithful. But when it happens to you, it’s hard not to think that your entire world is falling apart. I very distinctly remember feeling like I couldn’t breathe, like there was a tightening in my chest, and like I was consumed by a nervousness that didn’t disappear for weeks. I also found myself feeling tired, exhausted, and having little appetite. This resulted in what I liked to joke was the “my-boyfriend-is-a-loser-diet.”

Knowing the emotional and physical toll that cheating can take, I often wonder if I would have been better off not knowing. Or even still, if I had done the cheating, would I have confessed? After all, don’t they say that ignorance is bliss? Theicebreak, a fun app for couples to stay close and get closer, recently asked the question “Would you want to know if your partner was cheating on you? Why or why not?” The results, coupled with overall cheating statistics, paint an interesting picture of how men and women feel about cheating. One thing that’s obvious is that all’s not fair in love and cheating.

Do Unto Others Doesn’t Apply

84% of people say they want to know they’re being cheated on, yet only 6% of cheaters confess, even when confronted. There’s a definite gap in how people want to be treated versus how they are treating others.

There’s a whole host of reasons that people don’t admit to cheating; fear of losing the one you love and fear of hurting them are both valid reasons. These same reasons, however, often also prevent us from discussing issues in the relationship before they lead to cheating. It’s important for couples to have honest and open dialogue with each other about what’s bothering them so that it doesn’t cause bigger problems down the road.

Men Are Less Likely to Forgive

Men are 22% more likely than women to say that they would end the relationship if they discovered their partner was cheating on them. While there aren’t any hard statistics on female infidelity, it is estimated that 40% of women have at least one affair during their lifetime. With female cheating on the rise, this is a situation that is bound to occur with more frequency.

It’s often said that women cheat for love, while men cheat for sex. Yes, some women cheat for sex, but the majority cheat to satisfy an emotional connection that is lacking at home. This can be a big blow to a man’s pride, when it’s no longer just a sexual indiscretion. It’s important for partners to be empathetic to their partner’s needs, and make an effort to fulfill them. It’s equally important to communicate your own needs — both emotionally and sexually.

Women Are Better Liars

Between 8 – 15% of children aren’t fathered by the man who thinks that he’s the biological parent, and those are conservative estimates. That’s a lot of not-so-little lies. While female cheating has increased, being honest about it hasn’t yet caught up. It’s still not as socially acceptable for a female to have an affair as a man, or even just to open up or boast about her sex life.

Also, women are groomed to lie from childhood to appease — “Your dress looks so lovely,” when it really doesn’t or “This food is delicious,” when it’s not. Lying, on some level, is a natural part of the way that women navigate in society. It’s important for both partners to value honesty, and to recognize the difference between tiny white lies meant to manage relationship harmony, and the larger more life-altering ones.

Women More Likely Feel Like They’re Living a Lie

Women are 35% more likely than men to feel like they’ve been living a lie or been played, if they discover they’ve been cheated on. According to theicebreak results, women are also more likely than men to be bothered by the fact that their friends knew before they did that the cheating was happening.

If women are more likely to cheat for emotional reasons, then when they get cheated on themselves, it would seem logical then that they feel like the life they have been living with their partner is an emotional falsehood. It’s important for couples, especially those that experience cheating and want to move forward and fix issues, to recognize that each person views cheating differently — and to not make assumptions about what happened based off of what you feel, instead of what your partner felt or does feel.

So, despite all of this talk of infidelity — I’m still not sure if I would want to know, or even if I would tell. What I do know, however, is that there are so many positive things about being in a relationship that far outweigh being afraid of the possibility of cheating. Love, intimacy, and shared support can make people happier, and relationships are all about that.

Love Quote of the Day

Mon, 07 May 2012 05:03:00 -0700

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” —Dr. Seuss