22 4 / 2013
If you had to choose between Sex or Romance, which one would it be?
The Icebreak asked couples if they had to choose between romance or sex, which would it be?
After combing through over 600 responses, a clear majority of our users choose romance.
Women were more vocal than men about connecting romance to sex, insisting that the ideal romance included sex. They stated that romance was linked to intimacy, which changed the way sex was viewed in the relationship. Women often referred to it as making love rather than simply sex.
A few notable responses from women in relationships included:
“Sex would be pointless without romance. Got to soften the butter when u slowly heat the pan” (Our favorite)
“Romance; since it’d be making love, not having sex.”
“Romance leads to more sex” (Guys, take note)
“Romance; I don’t want to simply make love, I want to make love last. “
Men who explained their responses generally stated that sex is cheap, easy to come by and usually readily available, which they explained wasn’t true about romance.
“Definitely romance!! Sex is just an item on the menu while romance is the whole meal” (Another food reference!)
“Sex without romance is meaningless”
“Definitely romance. I mean I love sex with my wife. But I love how girly and bashful she gets when I do something sweet, to light up that spark that reminds her of what our love really is.”
“Romance; you can have sex with anyone.”
Overall a higher percentage of women chose romance over sex. However an equal percentage of both men and women responded ‘both’ to the question. Lastly, more women than men included a comment about the present lack of romance in their relationship when responding to the question. These comments makes us very curious about how couples are trying to maintain the romance in their relationships, stay tuned to find out!
30 11 / 2012
Holiday time is upon us and couples everywhere are traveling to visit families. And with twinkling lights and festive libations flowing, couples may find themselves in the mood even though they are at Uncle Jack’s house. Wondering how common is it for couples to sneak some sexytimes while visiting the family, we asked our users, “Have you and your partner ever had a quickie at a relative’s house?”
Overall, men and women were both more likely to have had a quickie at a relative’s house than not. The most common were women and men in the 18-24 range (70% and 59% respectively), likely because of the frequency of living and/or visiting parents.
Both men and women in serious relationships were more likely to have had sex at a relative’s house than those in dating relationships. In fact, several people commented that they weren’t even allowed in the same beds when visiting family. One woman in the 25-32 year old range told us,
Ha! We still sleep in separate rooms at her parents’ house….so I’m sure we’ll tackle that once we’re married and allowed in the same bed ;)
Regardless of gender, age, or relationship status, the potential for getting caught was an important consideration in the situation but for many reasons. In the case of one woman, getting caught hindered her ability to enjoy herself:
Yes but I couldn’t get into it like I normally do because my mind was focused on being walked in on.
However, for some people the challenge enhanced their enjoyment. One man said:
Yes we have and it was fun, wild and over all enjoyable even if we had to try our hardest to keep the noise down, which was sexy in it self coming up with ways to keep each others mouths occupied as to not make too much noise.
Another woman enjoyed it because it reminded her of her past:
Yep. Hot because it felt like I was back in high school and doing something bad.
For those who said they weren’t into it, it wasn’t always because they were afraid to be risqué, but rather, having family around just wasn’t sexy. As one woman said:
That is just weird… we are all about having sex in interesting places but not at family’s homes. Plenty of other options. :)
And for some people, the issue wasn’t a lack of desire, but rather, the result of a lack of privacy:
Yes, and it sucked bc we got caught. :(
Sexy until they found that rubber wrapper
Almost, but the relative in question must have some kind of quickie alarm because she busted it up before we really got started. What a huge rush and big let down that was!
One woman told us that even the relatives were a little put off by it:
Yeah on my moms old couch she actually gave us that couch didn’t like the thought of sitting on a couch that we had “sex” on
For more ways to share perspectives with your partner, and for insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way.
12 10 / 2012
Because of Halloween, October is the month of costumes and fantasies, of dreams and nightmares. But year round, couples from The Icebreak are sharing their fantasies with one another. To find out the sexy things couples thought about doing (and in some cases, actually are), we asked our users “What’s one of your sexual fantasies?”
Usually for The Icebreak Report, we do extensive break-out graphs by age but in an effort to focus on larger-scale gender-based assumptions, here are the numbers across the board from ages 18 to 60, from all of our respondents with varying and ranging sexual preferences.
The largest percentage for both groups was a category we called “nothing or nothing else” which meant respondents said they were satisfied, had no fantasies, or had already done what they fantasized.
However, for those who specified, men were most interested in costumes and outfits (boots were very popular), and women were most interested in power dynamics, specifically through light bondage (i.e. being tied up) or “being taken.” Sex on the beach was second most popular for both sexes, and, perhaps most amusing was the fact that not one woman of any age range fantasized about being woken up from sleep with sexytimes.
Contrary to commonly-held assumptions that threesomes were the most popular fantasy among men, threesomes or foursomes were actually further down the list than may be expected; of those citing that fantasy however, married men were the most frequent.
Having sex in a public or prohibited place was a fantasy that some users had, and most interesting locations included:
- a church
- a roller coaster
- the 50-yard line
- an aisle of a grocery store
And probably our favorite public answer was from one user who said:
Just doin it hard in a giant pool of money, while overlooking our mansion and private island
21 9 / 2012
Earlier this week Salon posted an article about so-called “vanilla sex,” sexual progression and experimentation, and kinkiness in different sexual communities, from swingers to monogamous couples. Here at The Icebreak, we are specifically focused on couples, both dating and in more serious relationships, so we thought we’d take a look at one aspect of the naughtier side of sex: sex in public. We asked our users, “Where is the most public place you and your partner have had sex?”
A handful of our users considered sex at home with the windows open “public,” but those statistics aren’t included here. However, our users are definitely adventurous, with locations ranging from public amenities to train cars to a church parking lot. A lot of couples specified that when having sex in a hotel, they left windows and curtains open or even ventured out onto public-facing balconies. Younger couples are having a lot more sex in working spaces, likely because of the number of students enjoying private time in the library.
With workspaces clearly dropping off, pools and natural settings are much more popular locations for the over-40 set; however, natural settings are the second favorite location for every age group.
Some of our favorite freaky places Icebreak users got their freak on included:
- air hockey table
- hospital bed
- a neighbor’s lawn
- a cruise ship laundry room
- a lighthouse
- airport shower room
- display shed at home improvement store
Across the board, and with so many options, cars are still the most popular place to have sex in public. And here’s a tasty morsel to chew on during your commute:
10 9 / 2012
Looking at couples by relationship status, across the board, sleeping and cuddling are by far the most popular activities post-sexytimes. Married men are most often falling asleep after sex, whereas dating men are most often cuddling. Women, whether married or not, are split closely between talking, cuddling, and sleeping. Heading straight to the bathroom for a shower or to clean up was a priority for some couples, and significantly more men than women also enjoy eating after sex.
Based on age breakdowns, smoking, a common post-coital activity according to Hollywood, still makes several appearances amongst the under 40 set. Sleeping clearly becomes more of a priority for men as they age, and women alternate between prioritizing talking and cuddling, while also increasing sleep as they age.
For those who get down with some pillow talk, most of them are talking about the sex they just had! Many couples talk about how much they love each other and some just let their minds wander to talk about anything they can think of. A handful of couples enjoyed talking about their pets (why does the cat watch us?) and some used the afterglow as a chance to talk about more serious things like their future.