The Icebreak Report

Couples are having sex (and getting caught) at relatives’ houses

Holiday time is upon us and couples everywhere are traveling to visit families.  And with twinkling lights and festive libations flowing, couples may find themselves in the mood even though they are at Uncle Jack’s house. Wondering how common is it for couples to sneak some sexytimes while visiting the family, we asked our users, “Have you and your partner ever had a quickie at a relative’s house?” 

Overall, men and women were both more likely to have had a quickie at a relative’s house than not. The most common were women and men in the 18-24 range (70% and 59% respectively), likely because of the frequency of living and/or visiting parents.

Both men and women in serious relationships were more likely to have had sex at a relative’s house than those in dating relationships. In fact, several people commented that they weren’t even allowed in the same beds when visiting family. One woman in the 25-32 year old range told us, 

Ha! We still sleep in separate rooms at her parents’ house….so I’m sure we’ll tackle that once we’re married and allowed in the same bed ;) 

Regardless of gender, age, or relationship status, the potential for getting caught was an important consideration in the situation but for many reasons. In the case of one woman, getting caught hindered her ability to enjoy herself:

Yes but I couldn’t get into it like I normally do because my mind was focused on being walked in on. 

However, for some people the challenge enhanced their enjoyment. One man said:

Yes we have and it was fun, wild and over all enjoyable even if we had to try our hardest to keep the noise down, which was sexy in it self coming up with ways to keep each others mouths occupied as to not make too much noise.  

Another woman enjoyed it because it reminded her of her past:

Yep. Hot because it felt like I was back in high school and doing something bad.

For those who said they weren’t into it, it wasn’t always because they were afraid to be risqué, but rather, having family around just wasn’t sexy. As one woman said:

That is just weird… we are all about having sex in interesting places but not at family’s homes.  Plenty of other options.  :)

And for some people, the issue wasn’t a lack of desire, but rather, the result of a lack of privacy:

Yes, and it sucked bc we got caught. :(

Sexy until they found that rubber wrapper

Almost, but the relative in question must have some kind of quickie alarm because she busted it up before we really got started. What a huge rush and big let down that was!

One woman told us that even the relatives were a little put off by it:

Yeah on my moms old couch she actually gave us that couch didn’t like the thought of sitting on a couch that we had “sex” on 

For more ways to share perspectives with your partner, and for insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way. 

Spenders most likely to be in a relationship with another spender

Black Friday, named for retailers coming “into the black” with profits, is just one week away and there is no shortage of hype around this holiday for shoppers. USA Today reports on stores opening as early as 8pm on Thanksgiving day to lure buyers away from the turkey and through their doors. In an attempt to create more luxe shopping experiences, some stores are even offering free refreshments and reserved parking, reports the Wall Street Journal. The Washington Post also covered a slew of Black Friday apps based on giving shoppers a leg up on hitting the aisles.

But navigating all of these deals this time of year brings up a common issue between couples: the budget. This week The Better Business Bureau and MSN Money offer several tips on how to stick to a holiday budget. But what do you do if your partner has different spending and saving habits than you do? To see how these budget trends factored into relationships, we asked our users, “Are you a saver or a spender? How about your partner?”

Across the board, with no regard for age or relationship status, men and women were only separated by 1 to 3 points on spending and saving habits related to their partners; in other words, both sexes were relatively even, contrary to popular stereotypes of women as shoppers. 

Both groups were most likely to be in a relationship where they were both spenders, and least likely to be in a relationship where they were both savers. Both men and women were more likely to say that they were a spender with a partner who saved rather than vice versa. 

As women passed the 41-year old mark, they were more likely to be spenders overall, with one woman stating,

Both spenders.. Could die tomorrow… Why not enjoy life to its fullest!!

Women 25 to 32 years old were most likely to be in a relationship with another spender (36%), but as they got older became more likely to be savers. One woman in the 25-32 year old age range addressed the need to start saving more:

We are both spenders. I used to be a saver but idk what happened! We have to start saving up though, we both realize that.

Within that same age range, men were most likely to be spenders, and similar to women, men were also more likely to be savers as they got older.  However, as saver men got older, their likelihood of having a partner who was a spender dramatically increased. 

Based on relationship status, women who were married, engaged or in a domestic partnership were most likely overall to be spenders in a relationship with another spender (36%). Women who were dating were most likely to be spenders in a relationship with saver (31%).

Men who were dating were most likely to be spenders in a relationship with another spender (39%), whereas men in more serious relationships were equally savers or spenders with their opposites. 

Many couples believed that having one spender and one saver meant they balanced each other out. One man explained,

I’m a spender, my wife is the saver. Perfect combo to live happily and one day retire.

Couples who were both savers considered that to be one of the reasons their relationship worked, and couples who were both spenders cited the positive elements of enjoying life, and the negative elements of being broke. As one woman said, 

spender and spender. We’re screwed :) 

People in the survey also used colorful language to describe themselves or their partner and some of our favorites included:

• “I call my partner uptown”
• “a miracle worker”
• “cheapskate or belt-tightener”
• “Dyed-in-the-wool tightwads both”

For more ways to share perspectives with your partner, and for insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way. 

Men less likely than women to want the truth about an affair

Last week, we looked at how often someone would tell a friend that their partner was having an affair; we learned that amongst Icebreak users, married women were least likely to tell the truth to a friend. This week we took the next step in the survey to find out who would want to know themselves about a potential cheating partner.  

Across the board with no consideration for age or relationship status, 79.6% of women and 77.8% of men said that they wanted to know if their partner were having an affair. Several users (4.8% of men and 3.8% of women) chose not to answer the question directly, but specifically answered the question with some variation of “that never would happen.” For those who specified that they did not want to know, men overall would choose not to know more often than women (9.6% of men versus 6.7% of women). 

19.4% of women were unsure if they wanted to know, or said that knowing depended on the situation. For several women, an affair that happened in the past or was a one-time thing was not something they wanted to know about; however those same women would want to know about something currently happening or long-term.  

Women in the 33-40 year old range were the least likely to want to know about an affair, whereas women 41-60 were the most likely to be unsure or take into consideration the situation. 

Men in the 25-32 year range were more likely than any group of either sex to want a definite answer (88.9%). Additionally, men 33-40 years old were most likely to be unsure or consider the situation before wanting to know (16.7%). 

Based on relationship status, men in dating relationships were least likely to want to know if their partner were cheating (12.5% said no) whereas married women were most likely to be unsure or consider the circumstances (10.8%). 

Amongst those who specified they would leave a cheating partner, married women were least likely to leave their spouse (~16%), and dating men were most likely to leave their partner (25%).  Married men and dating women who would definitely leave their partner were both around 21%. 

Recurring comments on the subject of a cheating partner included:

• Concerns over sexually transmitted diseases
• Not wanting to “live a lie”
• Going to jail or prison
• Cutting off body parts

And for some levity, one of our favorite quotes from a user was that he wanted to know if his partner was cheating, but

Only during scrabble

For more ways to share perspectives with your partner, and for insight into a community of couples, check out theicebreak.com. Or, you can get our app to start connecting with your partner in a whole new way. 

Married women least likely to tell a friend their partner is cheating on them

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